06. They're dead

1993 Aug 16

I checked on my mom adn dad before I went to bed. I thought they were asleep at first, but there wasn't any breathing. My mom's hand was cold.

Called 911 but no response. I went next door, but my neighbor didn't answer. His car's in the driveway so I knocked on the glass door hard until I shattered it a little.

My mom and dad are dead. They're lying on the couch and neither of them is breathing. I checked their heartbeat on their wrists and chest and necks. No heartbeats.

My life is totally ruined. I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything feeling like this.

I don't know how it happened, if they just croaked when I was sleeping or playing computer or what. I thought they were sleeping and I was having some peace at last, but they were dead and I didn't know for hours.

They're too heavy to move into the car, I tried dragging my mom but she's always been big. I feel like I don't know what to do. I'm just here following old habits, writing my thoughts as the whole world dies around me.

I know I have to bury them. I have to get the shovel from the garage, pick a spot I think they'd like and dig two big holes. I have to dig deep otherwise they'll come back up when it rains.

No broadcasts on TV. I think they all got sick too.